Head Above Water

Weeks of waiting culminated yesterday with the delivery of my father's remains. I was a little worried that the mail person wouldn't even bother to try to deliver them. When the death certificates made it to town, the notice was left in our mailbox. If the mail delivery person had actually driven down our driveway A) we were home, and B) they would have left the notice on the front door or the table by the front door (because we've had a notice left on our glass door). I had to go to the post office last Monday to sign for the death certificates. Our mail delivery is a bit lazy. We've had packages left on top of our mailbox, halfway down our long driveway, in the middle of the driveway (I actually watched the delivery open the door of the van, drop the package on the ground, and make a U-turn around the package), on the retaining wall along the driveway, and in the flowers in front of the house- just kinda chucked into the middle of the flowers. Half of the time, our packages end up actually by our front door. You just never know what you will get. I guess I either got a responsible driver or I got a pity delivery. 

 I should have been more on the ball and asked how many of these packages she's delivered. This can't be a normal thing, right? Or is it? I kind of want to know. 

The box did not come in the house. Annie took it out to the shed. 

Now that I have the death certificates, it was time to start closing out accounts and attempt to pay on my dad's enormous bills. There was no school today, so I went down to Ryan's building for lunch and made some phone calls with him. Ryan is good moral support. We tried several times calling Chase bank. I've never had the opportunity to do banking on someone else's behalf and I don't know who or what to ask for, and we were not smart enough to get past the automated system for a long time. I have an account number but no PIN. The words "Death," "dead," "help," and "operator" did not give any results. Ryan finally had the magic touch and we got a real person. They transferred us over to another department. After going through my information, his information, I was told that someone had already told the bank he was dead. Fabulous, and my call was pointless. To get the time of death balance, I needed to go in person to the bank one town over and present myself, my ID, and the death certificate. 

In person banking is an over-long, drawn out process. We waited about a half hour to get a person to help us, and another half hour of questions, typing, and photocopies to be told that my father had someone else on the account so I am unable to access ANY of his money. I was not allowed to guess who that other person was for privacy reasons. And the lady helping us was quite sure that my father could not have had a safety deposit box through their bank because they had phased those out a year or two ago. 

I am so tired of the road blocks.

There was a credit card bill with the Chase bank account. I couldn't even authorize the payment of it. My ire and frustration had risen, and with it my voice. I said good luck getting that bill paid off because they were on their own. 

I hope people are gracious enough to brush off my over-wrought emotions. Death and grief, I am hoping, will earn me a little bit of a pass. I am usually better at hiding the worst of my emotional state, and not biting off the heads of people just doing their jobs.