How Dads Miss All The Fun

I know I already posted today. But it was a really long evening and I feel the need to gripe and complain about it. You are not obliged to read my rantings; this is for my personal benefit only.
Tonight is Wednesday night mutual, and Ryan (being part of the bishopric) attends. My children woke up a little extra early this morning and Elizabeth didn't take a nap. There was a LOT of weeping and whining this evening. I felt an early bedtime would be appropriate. Ryan was very sweet, thoughtful, caring (thank you honey!) and got the girls into their pjs before he left. But this is when the interesting part of the evening begins.
We begin by reading New Testiment stories before starting on the "bedtime story." Instead of reading one entry, Emma really got into it tonight and wanted one more, then one more, then one more.... And before we knew it, Elizabeth was limp in my lap. Huh. I asked Emma if her sister's eyes were closed, and she replied in the affirmative. Now is my dilemma. How do I transport the sleeping toddler to her bed? I tell Emma to run down and make sure Elizabeth's bed is ready, and I try to adjust the sleeping child for transport. I scoot my rear end to the edge of the couch and prepare to carefully stand up. That's when Elizabeth starts coughing. And coughing. And I feel her start to heave. Oh no! Don't let her get the couch! Emma comes back saying the bed is ready. And then it happens. I lean forward of the couch and she gets *it* all over me, herself, Emma, the rug and hardwood floor. Emma starts screaming about the contents now on her pjs. Mind you, Ryan has been gone for maybe, 15 minutes? If that. Why does he always manage to dodge this bullet? I really, really, really would have loved to have an extra set of hands. Elizabeth is moaning now, "I frow up" over and over and Emma is peeling off her pjs. So I find the kids new clothing, brush teeth ("Mom, can you read my story now?" "No, mom has a mess to clean up, so how 'bout tomorrow?" "But I want it tonight!" "Sorry, honey."), say prayers and put the munchkins to bed. Now, I ought to be home free at this moment. No husband, so I should have some hot cocoa, read a book, watch a chic flick, something! Unfortunately, I have some laundry, mopping and carpet cleaning to do.
I survey the damage. Emma really does try to help. She put a towel on top of the mess on the floor. So I start cleaning process.