Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Kitchen Explosions

I'll admit it- my family pretty much supplies the material for my blog. If I were writing just about me, chances are these entries would be pretty boring. I hope they are at least somewhat amusing to you. I cannot judge my own performance.
Over the years, we've had several "Kitchen Explosions." And when I say "we," I really mean Ryan. One was when he was student teaching and was getting ready for an experiment in an 8th grade science class he was teaching. He wasn't sure of the vinegar to baking soda ratio for volcanoes. We certainly figured out what were NOT the proper ratios along the way. Too little of something, and no real reaction. Too much of whatever-it-was, and it exploded all over the kitchen. My kitchen smelled of vinegar for a week! Ryan says he likes the smell. It reminds him of the vinegar plant leak after a major California earthquake. (My in-laws can provide better details about that.)
Another Kitchen Explosion happened soon after buying our house. We call it the "Enchilada Sauce Massacre." For full details, ask me in person. There's just not room to do it justice here.
Next on the list happened last week. This one I only heard about, but once again involved Ryan. I guess what happened is that Ryan put the non-stick cooking spray (i.e. Pam) away in the cupboard at his parent's house and shut the door. A suspicious spraying sound ensued. It took Ryan a moment to process the cause of the sound, but when he did, he quickly opened the cupboard door. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but somehow or other the bottle tipped, the nozzle got pressed by something else, and Ryan got a face full of non-stick cooking spray when the door was opened. He was positively slick with it. Emma and Ryan's mom got a real good chuckle. Ok, who am I kidding? Emma was about rolling on the floor, and Kim not far behind that.
Which leads us to tonight's episode. We had banana splits for dessert. Ryan was in charge. (And yes, you should feel dread at that statement) There were bananas, ice cream, caramel sauce and hot fudge. He put the hot fudge in the microwave for 45 seconds to liquify a bit, and served up the ice cream. When we were ready for the toppings, without looking where his hand was going, Ryan grabbed the bottle of Smuckers Hot Fudge Sauce. Not a smart move, Ryan. He made a small yelp sound and quickly withdrew his hand. Turns out the bottle had an air bubble (our best guess here) and when the air heated, it pushed the sauce out, up and all over. Serious waste of good hot fudge sauce, you say? Not so. Ryan scooped what he could with a spoon from the bottle, microwave and counter and used it on our banana splits. And what he couldn't scrape, he licked. I'm told it doesn't taste great licked directly off the bottle- a definite papery aftertaste. Very disappointing. The bottle of hot fudge, post-licking... Don't worry, it was washed after this.

PS check out Ryan's comment- it explains everything.


ryan said...

I was try to think of an intellegent remark to respond to the these accusations. Here it goes. Get ready Danae. It is true all of it. The cooking spray does not hurt your eyes if you were wondering. The enchilada sauce was a booby trap I know it. The vinager was just good teaching. It is a good example of the sacrifices that us poor teachers make for the childeren and not an example of enjoying a good explosion. The hot fudge could have happened to anyone. I don't feel like I am more prone to this type of occurance in my life. I just think that it happens to me and my family (meaning my father) more then other people. Well my defense sounds more like a confession. So I will do what comes naturally and embrace it as a strength. I will never have a boring life even if I don't go out to many exciting things I can bring it home to my own kitchen. It is actually quite handy. I can squeeze hot fudge excitement in between work and dinner and church meetings. Can't do that by going to Hawaii; the flight is too long. If you don't laugh at me sometimes then I can't laugh with you and then my laughing at myself just looks crazy so go ahead and laugh. There will be more.

Becky said...

I am splitting my sides laughing! Great stories Danae- and Ryan, you are all too right - life does need a bit excitement. . . even if it is messy. Makes great stories for you kids and grandkids someday. My favorite is the cooking spray- what are the chances of that? If you are at playgroup today, Danae, I will difinitely ask you about the enchilada sause.