Be warned, this post is rated PG (pretty gross).
After lunch this afternoon, Elizabeth and Emma got down from the table and went their separate ways to play. Elizabeth ran down the hall, and locked herself in the computer room. (The handle is kind of stiff) I clear the table and start to hear retching noises coming from down the hall. I race down and look in the girls room, where I assumed she was, but she wasn't there. I called out her name and when I heard more noises coming from the computer room, I opened the door. Elizabeth was standing there with her diaper attached only on one side, and it was down around her ankles. She always retches when she sees poop. We don't know why. Without bothering to look at the room, I took Elizabeth by the hand, holding her dress up with the other, and marched her over to the wet wipes. I cleaned her legs and bum, put a new diaper on and took her to bed for a nap. That's when Ryan came home. I informed he has impeccable timing and that he always misses the disasters.
I then went back to the computer room to collect the messy diaper. There were only smears in the diaper. The actual mess was MIA. I opened the door further and saw the (sorry to be graphic) poop on top of Emma's Barbie ballet necklace. Then I realize that I've put my bare foot into a smaller poop plop. That's when I start retching. I've done so well this pregnancy. So far I've been able to deal with life and small children without losing it. I almost, so very close, lost it here. If Ryan hadn't been home..., well, I'll leave it to your imagination. So my very gallant hero came riding to my rescue. I'm standing in the hall, willing myself to calm down and breathe. Ryan gets down on his knees and wipes off my foot. We've really reached a new level of our relationship, I guess. And then my very wonderful husband cleans the mess off the floor and the bottom of the door, while I am in the living room praying lunch stays where it belongs. Ryan does tell Emma that her necklace is ruined and we have to throw it away. If he were a mom, he would have quietly thrown it away and Emma probably would never have noticed. But he informed her of the misfortune, and she got hysterical.
I was forced to recant my statement that Ryan misses all the adventures in our house. He came home just in time to save me. And for that, I am truly thankful.