Ryan took apart the vacuum tonight to untangle the hair from the vacuum. (Ryan insists this has to happen a couple times a year.) I think the cheap plastic pieces of the vacuum had been held together by all that hair, and once it was removed, the poor old vacuum almost disintegrated.
No worries, though. Ryan duct taped it back together.
I am feeling a little white trash at the moment. But I guess that's what you get, when you get married in college and can only afford an ultra-cheap vacuum from K-mart.