More Impromptu Rules

Honestly, I think I make up new rules every day.  I've been at this parenting thing almost 8 years.  You would think that we've covered them all by now, but every once in a while the kids surprise me with new and creative ways to test their limits.

Here are some of the recent ones:

1.  You must have at least your underwear on to color at the table.

2.  Don't stick paper in the toaster.

3.  Dirty flatware goes on the counter or in the dishwasher, not back in the drawer.

4.  Don't pick your sister's nose.

5.  Bums belong on the seat of the chair, not on the back of the chair.

6.  Don't pee by the house.  We have a toilet- use it.

7.  For the 7.6 millionth time- food belongs AT THE TABLE.  This should not be a surprise.

8.  Your shirt sleeve is not a napkin.

9.  Don't bite your toe nails.

10.  When you use the toilet- FLUSH.

11.  Don't stand at the window naked.

12.  Don't color on your sister's picture.

13.  Tortillas are a food, not a frisbee.

I did another post about this a couple years ago, which you can  read about here.  Boy, are the kids creative.

If I'm not careful, the list of rules will be longer than Obama's health care bill.  :)

What are some rules you've had to make up on the fly to combat your kids' creativity?

Funny

It would appear the Cullens got a job locally...?

(I hope someone else who has read the Twilight books also finds this funny.)

The Mom in the Hat

Sometimes it feels like my brain is turning to mush.  Talking all day in terms a 2-year-old will understand makes my once college-level vocabulary slowly, slowly disappear.  I did go to college, people.  But you'd never guess it, when the only things out of my mouth these days goes like this:  "Did you hear a train?  Choo choo!  Choo choo!  Was the train loud?  Did you hear it with your ears?"

To keep the synapses from going away, every once in a great while I try to challenge myself.  It might be reading something by Charles Dickens; it might be to learn a new skill.  Since I haven't learned something new in who knows how long, I bought myself a couple of crochet hooks, some yarn and went looking for a pattern that specified its level as "easy."

I found something at this Etsy store that seemed to fit the bill.  I settled in with my instructions, the computer (for crochet lessons courtesy of You Tube) and away I went.

This is my 2nd attempt:

Valentine Wreath

Cold weather and the lack of sunshine leads to a couple of things- a) major sugar indulgence, b) cabin fever, and c) the crafting bug.

While blog-hopping the other evening, I found a crazy idea for this wreath over at the Tatertots and Jello website.  (Ok, so it's an odd name for a craft blog, but whatever.  Maybe if I were more of a crafty person, perhaps I would understand.)

I have always been a little envious of other women's abilities to beautifully decorate their homes, and have decorations for each holiday and season.  And then not having their cute stuff disappear behind other stuff (ie, the pens and papers a husband empties from his pockets and leaves on top of the entertainment center, or the mountains of dirty clothes, school papers, Polly Pockets, Legos, clean laundry and crumbs that seem to accumulate all over) like at my house.  Visions of the displays at the craft store float around in my mind and I think, for a short moment, surely I could do something cute like that. 

The next day I drug (Er, maybe that's not the right way to say it.  There were no drugs involved, just a whole lot of crying and fighting over who got to hold mom's phone) dragged the twins to the store to buy the supplies to turn the charming vision into a reality. 

I found the 12" wreath form ( later used as a hat or a weapon of sisterly abuse), $4 worth of Valentine cupcake liners (which can be sat on and still be usable) and then made my way over to the ribbon aisle.  Ribbon can be very pricey when you need large amounts, so imagine my excitement to find 60 yards of red ribbon on clearance for $1.49.  Score! 

That afternoon, after I got the twins down for their nap, I found my old friend the glue gun and got to work.  Thinking the wreath should be pretty self-explanatory, I didn't bother looking up the directions again.

Imagine my surprise at learning there was a reason for that particular ribbon to be so value priced.  If you so much as breathed on it wrong, it creased.  Good thing I was going to cover it.  

An hour later, when I was thoroughly tired of folding cupcake liners and burning my fingers in an attempt to make those liners stick to my ribbon-covered wreath form, I picked off the last of the hot glue cobwebs.  Ta da!  It was done.

(Do you like our coffee filter snowflakes that are also on the door?  We are nothing if not classy.)

I realized that my wreath didn't quite look like the one in the picture.  Mine was a little more... funky.  That's when I checked the craft blog and realized I was supposed to "bunch the liner up at the bottom by pressing all of the side together like a flower" and not fold them into quarters. 

I guess mine is "original" and "has character."  Right?

Mr. Fix-It

Take one moderately rotten Monday and add this:

 and this:

and you have a much, much better day.

Thank you, Ryan!  That was so thoughtful and sweet.

Guerilla Warfare

I'm a little impressed.  The method of the twins' destruction is evolving.

Once upon a time, all Annie and Maddie did was unload toys/clothes/books/purse contents/kitchenware as fast as they possibly could.  Then came the scattering abroad.  Then came destruction of those objects.

Now, they leave partially full CapriSun pouches on the floor awaiting Mom's oblivious walking.  And inevitably, I won't be paying attention to the floor and find it with my foot.

Sigh.

It's amazing.  I think Annie and Maddie discuss in their own toddler-esque talk how to sabotage Mom to the maximum effect in the morning before I get them from their cribs.  How can they use their new skills to make life as challenging as possible for Mommy during the course of the day?  Their tactics change.  Sometimes it's whining, sometimes it's crying, sometimes it's the destruction of the house, and sometimes it's a combination of all 3.

Aaagghh.  How does a Mom survive twin toddlerhood???

Signs Your Week Isn't Starting Well

1. Your husband entertains you with nauseating noises from the bathroom half the night.

2. Husband layers on as many layers of clothing as possible before leaving for work, and yet still has icy cold hands.

3. Husband's truck refuses to start.  Husband takes minivan to work.

4. Husband comes home from work at 9 am looking like death, and shivering.  And he's wearing more clothes than he left the house in.

5. Husband sleeps until twins' nap time.

Hello Monday, and first day back to school of the new year....

You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man

Yesterday I surprised the family with wassail and gingerbread men when they came home from work and school.  The house smelled amazing! (At least to those with clear noses, which was 5 out of 6 of us.) 

While researching a recipe for wassail, I ran across an article on Twelfth Night on Wikipedia.  (The internet is great-- some days I really feel like searches on the internet go like those commercials for Bing-- who knows what you'll find!)  According to Wikipedia, wassail (and gingerbread) was traditionally served on Twelfth Night, which is "the evening of the fifth of January, preceding Twelfth Day, the eve of the Epiphany, formerly the last day of the Christmas festivities and observed as a time of merrymaking."  (Is the 12 Days of Christmas being after Christmas news to anyone else?)  So, I thought we'd learn a little about our English heritage and eat gingerbread and wassail.

 

I think the kids really liked this tradition.

(And I think we did catch that Gingerbread Man...)

A Visit to the Dentist

Every 6 months comes so fast.  Sometimes I can't believe I pay someone to poke at my teeth and gums with sharp metal objects.  I mean, really?  Isn't that kind of against what common sense tells you?  "Sure, to keep my teeth clean and healthy, I should scratch my teeth with a small version of a screw driver."  Hm.

And then there's the part of the trip to the dentist where I feel like an errant child: 

"I see you have some plaque build-up on that hard to reach place in the back of your mouth."  (No kidding.)

"Are you flossing every day?"  (Um, no.  Not every day.  Have I ever mentioned I don't really like flossing?)

"When you floss, do you floss behind the last molars?"  (Something else to try to remember.  Lovely.)  "You need to disturb that lip of your gums back there to keep build up from occurring." (Ew.)

"If you hold the tooth brush like this...  See?  Then you can get those areas clean."  (Thank you.  I always appreciate feeling like a stupid kid being taught something the adult thinks is beyond simple.)

So, enough of that.

Today I took Annie and Maddie for their first foray into the dentist office.  We arrived a little before our appointment (Go us!), and I was handed two sets of paperwork to fill out.  Annie and Maddie proceeded to rearrange and rip magazines make themselves at home in the waiting room, while I filled out birth dates, parents names, allergies, insurance information, etc. etc. etc. TWICE.   Love love love paperwork, while the Crazies run free.

Paperwork done, and we try not to destroy wait patiently in the waiting room.  Annie comes up to me, and starts patting her bum and saying, "Tinky."  (This is Toddler for "stinky" or "change my diaper NOW.")  Of course she needs a change now.

I told the nice ladies at the check-in counter that we had some business to attend to and would be back in a couple moments.  We all trudged out to the minivan. 

Two minutes later, we came back.  Minus the stench and coats. 

Once we were called back, Maddie, who is usually the most amiable twin, adamantly refused to open her mouth.  Annie, on the other hand, opened her mouth just fine, but would not close again and show Dr. Martin her bite.

But hey, I got a picture to commemorate another Big First in their life.

You can tell how excited they were about getting their teeth checked. 

It's great when your dentist is a friend of the family- he'll pose with your squirmy progeny for a picture. :)

Annie and Maddie were happier outside the building.  They posed with their stickers and new bracelets.  All kids are allowed to pick a small toy at the end of the visit.  

*Oh, and for the record, I was cavity-free at my last check-up. :)

He's Had a Birthday, Shout Hooray

Ryan celebrated his birthday last week.  We were able to celebrate his big day with his family. 

 Elizabeth helped put in the candles- they are a "patterent" (aka pattern) of alternating red and blue.  The "Happy Birthday" candles took their use the hardest.

 Everyone is eyeing Ryan's great big chocolate cake.  Will he share?

 Maddie liked her chocolate cake a lot!

So while Ryan's folks were at Costco procuring the birthday cake, Annie discovered she could open the side by side fridge/freezer.  I'm not sure what possessed her to do feed the dog, but Annie decided to start grabbing eggs and throwing them on the floor for Keagan to lick the slimy goo.  We found 3 egg shells by the time Ryan spotted her.  It could have been much worse.  As it was, there was little to clean up once the dog finished.  Now I wonder how long do I have before Annie figures out how to open our more traditional-style fridge and I am in big trouble?